Dealing with Insecurity in a Relationship | Relationship Anxiety- Healing Scribles

by - October 22, 2019

Dealing with Insecurity in a Relationship | Relationship Anxiety- Are you dealing with insecurity in a relationship? Insecurity in a relationship can lead you towards relationship anxiety. you need to figure out the signs before you get into any relationship. If you are dealing with insecurity in a relationship or you know someone who is dealing with insecurity then you must know how to help them because people always go to their friends for a advise when they are dealing with relationship anxiety. Dealing with Insecurity in a Relationship | Relationship Anxiety is a blog post which will help you understand the signs of relationship anxiety along with the solution.

Dealing with insecurity in a relationship| Relationship Anxiety


Dealing with Insecurity in a Relationship | Relationship Anxiety

It doesn't matter if you are single, committed or in a relationship this post is a must read for everyone to be aware of certain things so if you ever come across a situation like this you must know how to handle it or advise someone else. Before we get into the problem we should know what the problem is, let's see what is the insecurity?

Insecurity:

Insecurity is basically lack of confidence, a state of mind where you doubt everything or everyone, even when no one means harm to you, but you still constantly trying to make sure that no one can do anything to you.
When insecurity comes in a relationship the person who become insecure use every source of their ability to make sure nobody can take away the person they love.

 Difference between being protective and being Insecure?

When a person is trying to be protective about you they care more, they make sure you don't face problems alone either the problem is a person or a situation. When being protective become an obsession, then it turns into insecurity.
Now, most of the time people manipulate others by saying they are a lot more caring
about the other person, but in reality they are being insecure. An insecure person wants to take control of every situation. They simply want to make sure that nothing can go wrong. It doesn't mean they don't love you they do love you they just don't know how to cope with their doubts. 

What is Relationship Anxiety?

Have you ever seen a couple being over protected about each other? Keeping a check on each other activities, exchanging passwords, 24/7 texting? Sounds familiar? This is something we call insecurity in a relationship.
Relationship Anxiety is constantly being anxious or doubtful about your partner. Always doubting your self worth, always comparing yourself with your partner's Exes and always requiring reassurance. In order to avoid losing your partner, unintentionally invading their privacy and personal space. 

How Insecurity invade your relationship?

It's always wonderful to be in love, but when you decide to be in someone's life that comfort comes with certain responsibilities. It's not easy to get along with another human being when you are absolutely unaware of their personality. Most people fall in love or make a commitment, jumps in a relationship and never talk about their boundaries or ask questions which actually bothers them. When they get the person they start to see differences between them. Instead of discussion or talking about fears and making each other a better person they choose to control the life of their partner, taking a control of who they can see or who they shouldn't see, checking their phone, always trying to find where they are, double checking if they are telling the truth or not. Just because they can't help themselves to deal with their fears, they take wrong actions which lead to them toward invading their own relationship.

How to cope with Relationship Anxiety?

First of all there is one thing should always know. 
There is no prince or a princess who will just come into your life and fix everything. If there exists someone who can make things better for you, that is YOU. Your happiness doesn't depend on your relationship status and your relationship status doesn't depend on your looks.
 Maybe that looks a joke to you, but there are certain qualities in you that nobody on this planet can replace. If you don't believe in the magic of YOU how you can even expect someone else to come find your qualities when you are unaware of them?
When you are unaware of your self worth and starts a relationship there comes INSECURITY because every time you see your partner, you would doubt their choice, you will think about if someone can replace you, you will think what you did to deserve them. Self worth is the only thing that keeps your entire world in its place. The minute you start doubting this point your entire world will start falling apart.
#4 Rule of Happiness
Don't believe that you need another person to be happy in your life. You are supposed to be happy by yourself, other people can only add spice in your existing happiness. You cannot expect them to do all for you.
@healingscribles | Farah Zainab Naqvi

How to stop being insecure in a relationship?

Try to face it alone:

Always tell your partner about your boundaries; things you can tolerate, things you cannot tolerate, fears that you have related to them, what scares you in a relationship, what you are insecure about and how you are preparing yourself to deal with it. So when something happens, they would know that what you were going through.

3 Chances:

Constant reassurance, Constant Complaining and Constant Venting can always put your personality into a shadow.  It will make your genuine problems look like something lame. When something bothers you, when you feel insecure, consider it 3 times and ask yourself
Is it really bothering you? Is it genuinely something you should upset about? Or is it just because you are in the bad mood?
When you actually find it something that is bothering you at the moment, tell your partner how you feel and tell them it is something that you cannot tolerate. It upsets you. After you tell them how you feel leave it to them and stop worrying about it because you just handed over the problem to the person who can control things, but if it happens again for the second time tell them again that might be they haven't taken it seriously but it is something important to you and they should take it seriously. If it happens for the third time, then it's your turn to think about do you really want to be with someone who can be this careless when it comes to your feelings.

 Stop invading Privacy:

There is a personal space which everyone have, it includes:
  • Bank account
  • Phone
  • Emails
  • Work
  • Social media accounts

These are the things you should never take control of, until they give you control over things by themselves. In order to have privacy in your life you are always supposed to respect their privacy. Let me tell you one thing there is no point in controlling someone else life just so nobody can take them away from you. Trust me and mark my words
If they want to be with someone else there is no one on this earth who can stop them. This is how humans are, you cannot change or take control of their feelings until they want to. 
I saw people taking control of each other lives and I saw them cheating too. I saw people living out of sight for years and I saw them in love too. I saw people being married to one person and being in love with another.
Humans are unpredictable and we cannot control their feelings. If someone chooses to walk away you cannot even change their mind. There is no point in stressing over things or you can never forcefully make things happen. Even if you do trust me it's not worth it.

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